The One Word That Will Make Him Want You More

Let me tell you about Emma. She gave everything she had to her boyfriend, Jake.

She wasn’t just a good girlfriend; she was the perfect girlfriend. She cooked for him, planned thoughtful surprises, cheered him on at his games, and supported him in every way possible.

And then Jake did the unthinkable: he left her.

To make matters worse, just a week later, Emma found out he’d been seeing someone else behind her back.

“All of his friends knew!” she told me, her voice trembling with anger. “They made it sound like I should feel bad for him! Like it was some kind of romantic tragedy where he just had to choose her over me. Meanwhile, I was giving him everything I had, trying to be the best girlfriend I could be.”

Emma believed that being “perfect” would protect her relationship. That if she just did everything right, Jake would never even think about leaving her.

But as you might guess, it doesn’t work that way.

In fact, trying to be perfect can hurt more than it helps.

Here’s why: the best relationships are built on balance, not perfection.

When you don’t make him the center of your universe, it shows him that you’re your own person. You’ve got your own passions, your own priorities, and your own life. That independence isn’t just attractive; it’s essential.

A man worth your time doesn’t want someone who gives up everything for him. He wants a partner, not a caretaker. And if the relationship ends? You’ll still have your confidence, your identity, and your sense of self intact.

After Jake, Emma was ready to approach her next relationship differently. That’s when I taught her the most empowering word a woman can say in a relationship:

No.

It’s a small word, but it’s powerful. And it can take many forms:

• “I’d love to spend time together, but tonight I need some ‘me’ time.”
• “That sounds fun, but it’s not really my thing. Let me know how it goes!”
• “I’m so happy you’re excited about this, but I’m not ready to talk about it yet.”
• “I cooked last time. Your turn!”

When I shared this with Emma, she looked at me like I was crazy. “Wouldn’t saying no make him lose interest?”

Here’s the truth: Some men might lose interest. And that’s okay. Those are the men who expect everything to come easily, without effort.

But the kind of man you do want? The one who’s ready to be your equal, your partner, your teammate? He’ll stick around. He’ll respect your boundaries and appreciate your independence.

Saying no does something amazing—it reveals his true character.

• Does he sulk or get angry when you set boundaries?
• Can he handle the fact that you have a life outside of him?
• Is he willing to step up and meet you halfway, or does he expect you to carry the load?

But here’s the bigger reason to embrace the word no:

Saying no sets the foundation for a sustainable relationship.

Healthy relationships should feel like a source of support and joy, not a constant drain on your energy. They should restore you, not deplete you.

Take a moment to reflect:

• Do you feel unappreciated for all that you give?
• Do you wish he’d acknowledge your efforts more often?
• Do you fantasize about him taking the lead or pampering you for a change?

If any of this resonates, it’s a sign your relationship might be out of balance. And without balance, relationships can’t thrive.

The good news? You can start shifting that dynamic today by embracing boundaries.

• Stop doing everything for him—let him contribute.
• Don’t let him assume you’ll say yes to every request. Make him ask, and don’t be afraid to say no.
• Before you agree to something, pause and ask yourself: Am I doing this because I truly want to, or because I feel like I have to?

When you start saying yes only to the things that align with your values and desires, resentment fades away. You regain your sense of self—and that makes you irresistible.

Confidence. Independence. Boundaries. That’s the real secret to building a strong, lasting relationship.

So, take a page from Emma’s book: You don’t need to be perfect to find love. You just need to be unapologetically you.

You’ve got this!