Why Do I Attract Narcissists? Understanding the Pattern and Breaking Free

We hear it from so many people: "Why am I attracted to narcissists?" What may be even worse is that they not only seem drawn to narcissists, but also find themselves attracting them. Time and time again, they meet someone who seems perfect, only to end up feeling manipulated, devalued, and discarded. Why does this keep happening? Here is how it usually plays out:

Someone meets a person who seems like the partner of their dreams. It feels as if this person can read their mind, giving them everything they ever wanted in a relationship. They are attentive, charming, and affectionate. They shower their new partner with love, attention, and admiration, making them feel like the most special person in the world. They share similar goals, interests, and values. It feels like destiny. This blissful period can last weeks, months, or even longer. Everything seems perfect, and they feel incredibly lucky to have found this connection. They become emotionally invested, and completely hooked.

And then things start to change.

Almost overnight, as if a switch has been flipped, this seemingly perfect partner transforms into someone unrecognizable. They become distant, impatient, and critical. They make their partner feel small and insignificant. The attention and affection that once felt endless now seem to be a burden for them. They act as if even the smallest request for attention is too much. They become selfish, cold, and sometimes even emotionally or verbally abusive.